For the past few days, most of the posts I have been reading talks about new resolutions, new goals, big and small. New beginnings for a new year.
It struck me – more forceful than I liked – that I have neither a resolution, nor any goal set, big or small, for the New Year.
I felt kind of odd, realizing that while I’m a part of this blogging community, of this world, I don’t have the same set of rules that most have. I do know that there are others like me, but I hadn’t realized that I’m actually a part of a small minority.
It made me pause and think back over the years. I have had resolutions but they don’t come every year, and they are far apart, very far apart.
Goals, on the other hand, is something I haven’t had for more than a decade. The last one I had was to become a doctor – a surgeon.
Life interfered time and again, and that goal became a dream, one that I eventually let go.
And it was only these past days while I read posts about goals and resolutions that I realized I haven’t had any goal since I let go of that last one. (I suppose the stem cells treatment I want to try is a goal as I’m very determined to do it, but that’s an expensive treatment, so it’s a goal set far in the future).
Oh, I do have plans, but they aren’t set in concrete, and I can always change or postpone it without too much disappointment.
Like planning to go out with friends – if things come up, you can always change your mind or postpone it for later, no fuss.
And no, I don’t plan my year ahead, or even make new plans for a new year. I make them as I need them, and mostly they are small ones that I know I can see through on my own, but if I don’t and no one helps me, well, I do get disappointed, but if it’s a plan I’m set on, I change tactics and try to do it in a different way. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
If it does, I check it off the list, move on to the next. If it doesn’t, well, I either adjust the plan, or I make a new one.
But I have no resolutions, no goals to see through.