The secret life of a blogger

 

 

Ever since I began blogging, I feel like I’m living two separate lives:

The one where I’m an ordinary woman with disability, raising three kids, who enjoys writing and reading.

The other is where I meet new people every day, discuss my book, my life, things I enjoyed reading, and participate in other people’s conversations.

 

The people in my ordinary life don’t know about the people in my other life, about the things I write about, the books I enjoy discussing – because they don’t bother to check my blog. They do know about the book I’m getting ready to publish, but they think it’s a phase I’m going through.

I don’t mean to portray a bad impression of them, no, they are caring, considerate people, but each have a life, and they don’t share my addiction to writing and reading.

In this aspect, I  fell so far from the tree, maybe I was adopted!

 

In my virtual life, I’ve met others like me, aspiring authors, newly published authors, writers who are still in the closet, mothers who feel aren’t being appreciated enough, people who enjoy cooking as a hobby, poets, even a woman who, like me, lost her vision in her twenties.

Some of these people have become friends, and I share with them things people in my ordinary life will never hear about.

 

I don’t know anyone who blogs from my ordinary life. Mostly they use twitter and facebook, or instagram or pinterest, but no blogs that I know of.

 

I have no idea why I chose blogging when I decided to promote myself on social media, but I don’t regret it.

It’s daunting, it’s time consuming, but I enjoy every single moment of it.

I even think I’m addicted!

If I have to go somewhere or can’t blog for a while, I start jonesing for that next time when I’d open wordpress and start browsing.

Am I insane or is every blogger out there feeling the same?

 

Sometimes when the house is quiet and the kids asleep, I sit down to check on the posts, or write one, or reply to comments, and I let myself get lost in it.

It’s a little creepy, actually, the house is quiet save for David, the voice of my software, and the lights are all out – even the screen on my laptop since my daughter broke it(I don’t need it, so I never replaced it). And when I go to sleep, I dream about blogging.

 

Sometimes, when I spend half the day in front of my screen and  away from the book I’m supposed to be reading or editing, I wonder if I’m wasting my time when I’m blogging, or if it’s worth it.

Then I meet someone really nice, read a post that inspires me in a way, and I tell myself that no, even if my book is still open on the same page I left it last night, I didn’t waste my time away.

 

The other day, after I finished checking a few posts, I wrote an e-mail to a woman I met via blogging, smiling to myself at the things I tell her freely about myself. And my son asked me why I was smiling. It took me about ten minutes to explain, since I had to go back a few e-mails  for him to understand the joke.

It was then that I realized that, inadvertently, I’m leading a secret life!

Followed by: do bloggers have family members and ordinary, real life friends following them in their blogs, or are they, like me, leading a double life?

 

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68 Replies to “The secret life of a blogger”

  1. I think it’s normal that people from our “real” life are not so interested in what we put on blog (although I was surprised recently to hear that one of my friends is reading almost all my poems 😀, I didn’t know about it). Would you go to almost every football match of your friend or a family member if it was not really your thing? That’s why I’m really greatful for this space (WP), and yes – it is my second life. 😌

    Liked by 5 people

  2. I feel the same way. All I get from my family is ‘How’s the book going?’ They don’t understand how much time it takes to write, or that blogging and social media is also a huge part of what I do. I don’t think they even know I have a blog!
    I only have one person from my real world following my blog and twitter: A friend I made in university who loves reading and works in publishing. The connections I’ve made online make up for it though, because, like you, I’ve met people I can really relate to 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Hi. Great post. I limit who I tell or how much I talk about it. Many people know, smile and say “oh, I saw one or two you sent to Facebook.” But only a few actually read and follow (and comment via email!). As for the secret life… yes, it feels that way. It’s virtue of that Internet wall. Sometimes you can be more comfortable with a little bit of distance, and then when you get to know the person, you are able to feel more real and open.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. that’s so true. you don’t need to feel like you need to meet anyone’s expectations of yourself, so you are as as honest and true as you can be. I wonder if, after a ‘virtual friendship’ is formed, can it survive a real life meeting? will the people adjust their way of talking and thinking?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I wrote a similar post some time ago about the secret life of a writer. I do think blogging and writing appears as a secret life because we reveal ourselves in a way that’s not present with people we know in our personal life. For me, no one seems to care that i write or blog but then i come on here and meet absolutely amazing people who are interested in reading and writing 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I am leading a double-life as well, although that’s not what I called it before I read this post. I am going to start calling it a double-life now. It makes me sound like a spy or something cool like that.
    Excluding Spinette, no one from my real life has actually read any of my posts, that I know of at least, no matter how much I tell them to.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this post, Jina. It is a weird feeling to be living a double life. I feel that way about writing too, off on all the adventures that most of my family doesn’t bother with or know about. I spend more time talking with blog friends than I do with physically present friends, and in some ways, I’m different behind the screen, too. I think part of it is this WP community – the kindness, support, and friendliness of other bloggers. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I admit I’m surprised . I hadn’t expected to enjoy it this much, or that there are so many people i connect with out there, that understand me. i enjoy other people’s writing, they understand the meaning underneath my words.
      It’s been a surprisingly delightful few months.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s a bit of both for me. I have a few friends who read my blog sporadically. My family knows I do it and we discuss the occasional story that I post, but they don’t really read any of them. That’s fine by me.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow!! That’s exactly how I feel, every line you wrote. I intentionally keep my family and friends out of my blogging world because they don’t understand what’s going through my head and they will judge me. I know how you feel, we both have this secret blogging world.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. You’re definitely not alone in this!! I feel the same way about blogging and think I’ve definitely become addicted to it. I know what you mean about getting so absorbed in it too- I was a laughing for a full minute the other day at something someone said and my family thought I’d gone nuts 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I do think every person who we meet here thinks the same.

    It’s our secret high. We are addicted to it. I never try to explain this part of my life to people around me, because although they care for me, love me, but they won’t get it. And it’s okay.

    It’s my secret fantasy world where my dreams don’t seem so far fetched and I feel like I can achieve anything. It’s my secret sanctity and I ❤ it that way. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You are a very, very special person. And, yes, your secret life means a great deal. Look at all the bloggers reading you after just a few months. Some day we’ll be the ones who say, “OH, yes! We knew her back at the beginning of her writing career.” I’ll be sending an email today … It’s been a long week, and I am so looking forward to wallowing in a good long message!

    Liked by 2 people

  12. This is spot on! I feel like my family is sort of humoring me. Although my husband also has a blog, but it is technical in nature and helps his work in the markets, so it has “a real purpose” (not his words, those are my feelings about it, he is very supportive of my blogging). Our kids and friends mostly go with the “oh wow, you have a blog, how fun for you” attitude. Most don’t follow, or even read it. I am shocked when one of my husband’s coworkers will say they are reading it. They don’t follow so I don’t know that they pop in here or there. In fact, without regular bloggers to connect with, I would not know if any of it is making its way into the blog world! Thankfully the people I have met are so kind and wonderful, that it makes it all worthwhile.
    I don’t feel addicted (yet!) as I do have a lot of activities that take me away from the computer-which is why I have anything to blog about in the first place! I can see the struggle on some days, however, and have to force myself to shut down the computer and go for a run 🙂
    Happy blogging to you all!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not addicted yet? let me see, do you find yourself thinking about what you’re going to write next? do you feel like you’re ‘jonesing’ for the next time you’ll check your wp notification to see who commented, who liked, who followed? If yes, then, my friend, welcome to the world of addiction. if not, i hope you’ll get there someday. I have no one, absolutely no one, from my reality following my blog. very few knows i blog in the first place, and those don’t really care. I’m a free woman!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I love it! Freedom in any form is always welcome! I don’t find myself jonesing too much. I blog about a lot of activities like running, climbing, kick boxing, cooking/baking…so I am forced to put the computer away to accomplish something to blog about later (quite the circular logic, but it gets me off the couch!). Today is one of those rare days where I am on the computer the entire time (except for a short 4 mile run this morning). I am already getting ready to put it down and go for a walk! Someday I will catch up with the rest of the blogging community 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Hi nice to meet you. I’m glad I’m not the only one leading “a secret life” lol. I’m new to blogging, just started this month and I have decided to keep it a secret. No one knows about it, not my hubby or my kids nor my friends. I chose to keep it a secret so that I can blog freely without holding anything back. To be completely open about how I feel or what I think without worrying that I might hurt someone’s feelings. It was nice to see that I’m not alone. By the way, I’ve also become sort of addicted to blogging and wordpress. If I’m not careful I can loose track of time. It was nice reading your post. Have a great day! God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome! Yeah, I agree it does feel good lol. I just can’t get enough of it. That’s the thing and I mention that on my first blog, if the people who surround us, who we know friends family really cared how we are they would actually care enough to find out what we really feel what we like what make us happy. Not just ask how we are to be polite. I guess I read to much into things, I do that often. Rehab? Naa I think I’m ok with this kind of addiction Lol 😜. It feels good. Thank you for your time.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I don’t really mind that my reality friends and family don’t check my blog. i’m the same person in both places, the only difference is that the two worlds don’t meet, which leads me in turn to feel like i’m leading a double life. like someone told me before, it sometimes feel like a nefarious affair!

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I actually prefer that they don’t know I have my blog, that way I can express myself freely without worrying about no one’s feeling but my own. Is my little space just for me where I can take care of myself and only me. Is sounds a little selfish but I deserve something for myself. I’m always making sure everyone else is taken care of physically and emotionally but sometimes for my sake and everyone else I need some me time. My blog is my me time where I can let my hair down take of my makeup put on my pjs and take a sip of wine without worries. And I agree, it does feel a little wicked to lead a secret life ;). Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I can understand being a disabled person writing. I have some mental issues that make it hard for me to get a normal job. At the same time, I work harder at writing than any job I’ve ever had.

    I’ve also taken care of my two children by myself more or less when my ex-wife retreated into the world of video games and online friends, never leaving her computer desk. Somehow in the divorce, she still ended up with custody.

    I have been struggling to decide how much personal stuff I want to put on my blog. I’ve been doing a lot of introspection recently after a deep depression, and I have some thoughts on the world I’d like to share. It’s nice to see someone just put themselves out there. It makes me think that perhaps I can too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i believe that everyone can do whatever they want to do – as long as they believe they can. and i understand exactly how you feel. we work harder at something to make it work . i call that no longer taking everything for granted and being careful in a bigger scale.

      Like

  16. I really enjoyed this post, thank you. I too am disabled, though it came from a brain aneurysm March 2016. Blogging has become a wonderful addiction for me, and no one I know blogs either. Every night I get into my bed early, turn the tv on low volume, get my laptop out and write anything and everything. I’m working on a book as well-a memoir, and would enjoy more conversations with you. Thank you again.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Love this!! Secret life lol – even my husband hasn’t read my blog – he kind of knows I’m writing one but hasn’t asked for the address. I think in a way it’s good not to have your IRL people reading because I think that would change the way you write. You’d start thinking about how it may affect them and that might affect how honest you can be. Let’s keep our secret lives secret!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. that’s what i did when i first began writing my book – no social constraints, no bounds to keep, no approval to meet – and the outcome is something i am proud of, along with my family now. my blog, however, is something that even if my family knows about, it’s not something they want to keep up with, so no one i know from the real world really keeps up with my post. it’s like a second life.

      Liked by 1 person

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