Ever since I began blogging, I feel like I’m living two separate lives:
The one where I’m an ordinary woman with disability, raising three kids, who enjoys writing and reading.
The other is where I meet new people every day, discuss my book, my life, things I enjoyed reading, and participate in other people’s conversations.
The people in my ordinary life don’t know about the people in my other life, about the things I write about, the books I enjoy discussing – because they don’t bother to check my blog. They do know about the book I’m getting ready to publish, but they think it’s a phase I’m going through.
I don’t mean to portray a bad impression of them, no, they are caring, considerate people, but each have a life, and they don’t share my addiction to writing and reading.
In this aspect, I fell so far from the tree, maybe I was adopted!
In my virtual life, I’ve met others like me, aspiring authors, newly published authors, writers who are still in the closet, mothers who feel aren’t being appreciated enough, people who enjoy cooking as a hobby, poets, even a woman who, like me, lost her vision in her twenties.
Some of these people have become friends, and I share with them things people in my ordinary life will never hear about.
I don’t know anyone who blogs from my ordinary life. Mostly they use twitter and facebook, or instagram or pinterest, but no blogs that I know of.
I have no idea why I chose blogging when I decided to promote myself on social media, but I don’t regret it.
It’s daunting, it’s time consuming, but I enjoy every single moment of it.
I even think I’m addicted!
If I have to go somewhere or can’t blog for a while, I start jonesing for that next time when I’d open wordpress and start browsing.
Am I insane or is every blogger out there feeling the same?
Sometimes when the house is quiet and the kids asleep, I sit down to check on the posts, or write one, or reply to comments, and I let myself get lost in it.
It’s a little creepy, actually, the house is quiet save for David, the voice of my software, and the lights are all out – even the screen on my laptop since my daughter broke it(I don’t need it, so I never replaced it). And when I go to sleep, I dream about blogging.
Sometimes, when I spend half the day in front of my screen and away from the book I’m supposed to be reading or editing, I wonder if I’m wasting my time when I’m blogging, or if it’s worth it.
Then I meet someone really nice, read a post that inspires me in a way, and I tell myself that no, even if my book is still open on the same page I left it last night, I didn’t waste my time away.
The other day, after I finished checking a few posts, I wrote an e-mail to a woman I met via blogging, smiling to myself at the things I tell her freely about myself. And my son asked me why I was smiling. It took me about ten minutes to explain, since I had to go back a few e-mails for him to understand the joke.
It was then that I realized that, inadvertently, I’m leading a secret life!
Followed by: do bloggers have family members and ordinary, real life friends following them in their blogs, or are they, like me, leading a double life?